A Forest Walk
June 18, 1999
Aggie and Bettie are two old friends that have some less than usual conversations. This one was while they were walking in a forest passed a fallen tree.
| Aggie | Ooooo Look! That tree’s gone and fallen over. |
| Bettie | Oh dear! Are you sure it fell over? |
| Aggie | Of course it did, it wouldn’t just appear there. |
| Bettie | How do you know? You know what the say. |
| Aggie | What? That trees don’t fall over they just appear there. That’s silly, I seen a tree fall over when I was a little girl. |
| Bettie | I see one fall just last week. Big thing it was, came crashing to the ground and knocked a little tree over too. |
| Aggie | The tree I saw when I was a little girl was enormous and thundered to the ground taking two other trees with it. Big trees they were too. |
| Bettie | Coo, what a sight. I bet it hurt your ears all that noise. |
| Aggie | Oh yes. So noisy it made my ears bleed. You don’t get trees crashing to the ground like that nowadays. |
| Bettie | No, much quieter trees nowadays. |
| Aggie | So what do they say? |
| Bettie | Eh? |
| Aggie | What do they say about the trees? |
| Bettie | Oh that. You know. ‘If a tree falls and no one hears it, does it make a sound?’ |
| Aggie | Do they? What a silly thing to say. Trees are always noisy when they fall. |
| Bettie | But what if it didn’t fall? |
| Aggie | Eh? It did fall you just said it did. |
| Bettie | No I never. |
| Aggie | You did. You said it fell without making a sound ‘coz no one heard it. |
| Bettie | But if it fell without making a sound., did it fall? |
| Aggie | It did fall. It can’t get on the ground otherwise. |
| Bettie | But you said all trees make a noise when they fall. So if it didn’t make a noise it couldn’t have fallen. |
| Aggie | Cooo! I think you’re right. Do you know there could be trees all over the place that we don’t hear that are standing up one day and laying on the ground the next. |
| Bettie | It makes you think doesn’t it? |
| Aggie | Does it? I suppose it does. |
| Bettie | Oh yes, it definitely makes you think. Think about all those lumberjacks. |
| Aggie | Ooooo! All those muscley lumberjacks with their big choppers. |
| Bettie | Oh yes! Can’t forget their big choppers. |
| Aggie | I wouldn’t mind a lumberjack at home. With his muscles and big chopper. |
| Bettie | Alfie wouldn’t like it though. |
| Aggie | No, poor Alfie. He wouldn’t like it at all. Anyway why are we thinking about them? |
| Bettie | Thinking about who? |
| Aggie | The lumberjacks. |
| Bettie | Oh them! Oh yes! Well all that hard work they do, there’s no need for it. |
| Aggie | There isn’t? |
| Bettie | Oooh no! They should all leave the woods and wait for the trees to appear on the ground, save all the chopping. |
| Aggie | Ooooo yes! So it would. Be a lot easier. They can get on with their singing then. |
| Bettie | Singing, do they sing then? |
| Aggie | Oooo yes! Haven’t you seen them on the telly? Singing about chopping down trees and dressing up. |
| Bettie | They’ll just have to sing about waiting for trees now. |
| Aggie | And dressing up. |
| Bettie | Ooooo yes! Can’t forget the dressing up. What do they dress up in? |
| Aggie | I wouldn’t know. Silly people they are. |
| Bettie | Yes, yes, that is true. |
| Aggie | Oh look! Another tree. |
| Bettie | I wonder if that one fell. |
| Aggie | I bet it made a lot of noise if it did. |
| Bettie | Yes, big crashing noises like thunder. |
| Aggie | Oh yes! I’ve always liked the noise of thunder. |
| Bettie | Yes, and the crackle of lightning. |
| Aggie | Lightning doesn’t make a noise. If it did I’m sure it would be a whizz not a crackle. |
| Bettie | It sort of gives a crackley feeling. You know, all that natural electricity. |
| Aggie | Coo yes, the electricity. Especially the blue ones. |
| Bettie | Yes much nicer than the white lightning. |
| Aggie | Yes. Alfie likes the blue electricity too. |
| Bettie | No dear, I think its Electric Blue that Alfie likes. |
| Aggie | Oh yes. Though he does get breathless after watching it for a few minutes. |
| Bettie | Well the lightning always does that to me. |
| Aggie | Ooooooooo look! Another tree. |
| Bettie | Oooooooo yes! There’s something sitting on it. Can’t quite make it out. |
| Aggie | It’s quite small and has a fuzzy face. |
| Bettie | Oooooh! Is there a helicopter near by? |
| Aggie | A Helicopter? |
| Bettie | Yes, if there is it’s probably Noel Edmonds. |
| Aggie | No, it has a bushy tail though. |
| Bettie | Oh. Then it’s a squirrel. That’s how you tell the difference between them. |
| Aggie | I see. So Noel has a helicopter and squirrels have bushy tails. |
| Bettie | That’s right. |
| Aggie | Well let’s go and get a nice cup of tea. |
| Bettie | Oooo! That’s a good idea. We can have a mindless natter over it. We get so little time for mindless natters nowadays. |
| Aggie | Yes. Got all this philosophical thinking to do about trees. |
| Bettie | And Noel Edmonds. |
| Aggie | Oh yes! Can’t forget Noel Edmonds. |
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