The ABBA Skit

The song titles have been highlighted in the text.

Opener	This is a play set in Stockholm about two star-crossed lovers.
	Though the play has little else to do with Sweden the author was listening to ABBA while writing. Which may have influenced the script slightly
	This is an original piece specially written and any resemblance to any play written by a certain Mr. Shakespeare is purely coincidental, honest!
	Eyes down, and a prize for a full house.
Narrator	Act 1, Scene 1 – Stockholm. A public place.
	Enter Tybalt and Svenvolio (from different directions)
Svenvolio	I will always fight those of the house of Erikson
Tybalt	And I those from the house of Johanson
	Svenvolio and Tybalt fight
	Enter the prince
Prince	Stop this fighting at once I want to see no one under attack or I will call the soldiers. The next person who breaks the peace between the two houses will be punished by death.
	Tybalt and Svenvolio stop fighting, the Prince and Tybalt leave
	Enter Fernando
Svenvolio	Good-morrow, cousin Fernando, what is wrong?.
Fernando	I am in love, Nina, pretty ballerina. I am head over heels, my mind is in a crazy world. Should I laugh or cry?
Svenvolio	You have a hole in your soul. Fate will take a hand, let’s go.
	Exit Fernando & Svenvolio
Narrator	Act 1, Scene 2 – A street of Stockholm
	Enter Servant
Servant	I can not read, what does my master expect from me
	Enter Svenvolio and Fernando
Servant	I pray sir you can read, I don’t know where to take this invitation
Fernando	That I can
	Fernando and Svenvolio read the servants note
Fernando	This is an invitation for Nina to a ball. Servant you wish to take this to house of Anderson
Servant	Thank you Sir, and I ask you to join us. At the house of Erikson, if you are not a Johanson of course.
	Servant exits
Fernando	Svenvolio I must go and see Nina. I will wear a mask and join the party.
	Svenvolio and Fernando exit
Narrator	Act 1, Scene 3 – A room in Erikson’s house
	Enter Lady Erikson and Nurse Chiquita
Lady Erikson	Nurse Chiquita where is my daughter? Call her to me.
Chiquita	Cassandra
	Enter Cassandra
Cassandra	That’s me.
Lady Erikson	Cassandra, we are going to marry you off to a count called Bjorn.
Cassandra	But, I am just a girl I don’t want to marry for Money, Money, Money.
Lady Erikson	Love isn’t easy.
.Cassandra	But it sure is hard enough.
	Exit Cassandra, Lady Erikson and Chiquita
Narrator	Act 1, Scene 4 – The Erikson’s house – they ball is about to begin
	Enter Erikson and Cassandra
Erikson	Cassandra, we will welcome the visitors on their arrival.
	Enter Tybalt
Cassandra	Greetings cousin Tybalt
	Tybalt bows then goes and talks with Erikson
	Enter Fernando (in a mask)
Fernando	My lips, your hands they need to touch, you are a fine girl, may we kiss?
Cassandra	You have many fine words for a stranger, go on one quick one.
	Fernando kisses Cassandra
	Tybalt notice it is Fernando behind the mask as he kisses Cassandra
Fernando	The time has come for me to go, So Long.
	Exit quickly Fernando
	Tybalt joins Cassandra
Tybalt	I think that was the villian Fernando Johanson
	Cassandra gasps – Erikson joins Tybalt and Cassandra
Cassandra	I wish to catch up with my cousin Helena.
	Cassandra leaves the stage calling as she goes
Cassandra	Hey, Hey Helen-a
Erikson	Tybalt, find me Bjorn I wish to talk to him the way old friends do.
	Tybalt leaves in one direction and Erikson the other.
Narrator	Act 2, Scene 1 – The Erikson Orchard
	Fernando enters
	Cassandra enters on a balcony
Fernando	But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks?It is the east, and Cassandra is the sun.See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!O, that I were a glove upon that hand,That I might touch that cheek!
Cassandra	Ay me!
Fernando	She speaks:O, speak again, bright angel eyes! For thou art as glorious to this night, being o’er my head Like an angel passing through my room
Cassandra	O Fernando, Fernando! Wherefore art thou Fernando?
Fernando	Sitting in the palm tree
Cassandra	Let us put aside our names of Erikson and Johanson we are but One man, One woman. Take a chance on me and lay your love on me.
Fernando	I do, I do, I do, I do, I do you are my love, my life.
Cassandra	We shall meet again tomorrow
	Cassandra exits the balcony
	Fernando exits
Narrator	Act 2, Scene 2 – Friar Laurence’s cell
	Enter Friar Laurence
Friar Laurence	Benedictuse qui venit, hasta manana, in nomine Domini. Andante, Andante, Santa Rosa, Hosanna in excelsis.
	Enter Fernando
Fernando	Hello Friar
Friar Laurence	What brings you to me so early?
Fernando	I am in love, but it is maybe someone I should not.
Friar Laurence	People need love. It is no longer Nina? What about Happy Hawaii last summer.
Fernando	Our last summer in the tropical love-land
Friar Laurence	What about Livingstone or Elaine?
Fernando	Father, I am under no disillusion it is a girl. Cassandra.
Friar Laurence	Mama mia! A member of the opposite house.
	Though I wonder this may bring peace to the families.
Fernando	Thank you Friar, I will see you tomorrow
	Fernando exits
Friar Laurence	Time to see the bees I need some more Honey, Honey.
	Friar Laurence exits
Narrator	Act 2, Scene 3 – A street in Stockholm
	Enter Svenvolio and Fernando
Svenvolio	Fernando you are in a dreamworld you can not have this Cassandra.
	Enter Nurse Chiquita
Chiquita	Which one of you is Fernando?
Fernando	Me and I. How can I help my lady?
Chiquita	I have a message from Cassandra she can not meet you as she must prepare for her up and coming wedding to Bjorn. But when all is said and done I know Cassandra, and she will be at confession tomorrow.
	Chiquita exits
Svenvolio	I must leave to, I see Suzie over there, she is in a Rock & Roll Band and I want her to Rock Me before she heads off for another town, another train.
	Svenvolio exits calling out as he does
Svenvolio	Suzie-hang-around
	Fernando exits
Narrator	Act 2, Scene 4 – Friar Laurence’s Cell
	Enter Friar Laurence and Fernando
Friar Laurence	So smile the heavens upon this holy act, that after hours with sorrow chide us not!
	Enter Cassandra
Fernando	I’ve been waiting for you.
Friar Laurence	Quickly we go to the Chapel and I will perform the wedding ceremony where god will marry you
Cassandra	Won’t you perform the service?
Friar Laurence	My child, I am but the Man in the middle.
	Exit Friar Laurence, Cassandra and Fernando
Narrator	Act 3, Scene 1 – A public place in Stockholm
	Enter Mercutio and Tybalt from opposite places
Tybalt	So if it’s not Mercutio the Johanson’s dancing queen.
Mercutio	I will fight you for those harsh words
	Mercutio and Tybalt sword fight
	Enter Fernando
Tybalt	Two for the price of one.
Fernando	I am not here to fight
	Fernando moves between the fighters as he does Mercutio misses a parry and his stabbed
Mercutio	Aarrgghh!!! Why did it have to be me?
	Mercution staggers and dies at the edge of the stage
Fernando	You kill my brother I will kill you
Tybalt	He is your brother?
Fernando	Well, he was like a brother, watchout, one of us is about to die
	Fernando stabs Tybalt who staggers to the edge of the stage
	Enter the Prince
Prince	Fernando you know the punishment, but I saw what happened and you were only avenging the death of your friend, that is the Name of the game, for this I will banish you to Waterloo
Fernando	Shouldn’t the city decide?
Prince	The king has lost his crown, I am the City
	Exit the Prince and Fernando
Narrator	Act 3, Scene 2 – The Orchard
	Enter Nurse Chiquita and Cassandra
Chiquita	I have news of Fernando, I found this out when I kissed the teacher. Fernando killed Tybalt and has been banished to Waterloo.
Cassandra	Fernando, my Super trooper, I must see him before he goes.
Chiquita	I will Put on your white sombrero and go to the Friar’s cell tonight
	Exit Cassandra and Chiquita
Narrator	Act 3, Scene 3 – The Orchard later that night
	Enter Cassandra and Fernando from different directions
Fernando	I got the message from Chiquita, I am sorry about Tybalt, I have to go away now.
Cassandra	Knowing Me, knowing you this is going to break our hearts. But I will be happier knowing you are alive somewhere rather than dead in the city cells.
Fernando	This is sad but maybe you can have a happy new year.
	Cassandra and Fernando hug then exit in different directions
Narrator	Act 4, Scene 1 – Friar Laurence’s Cell
	Enter Bjorn and Friar Laurence
Bjorn	Well Friar, as Tybalt’s death has made everyone sad Erikson has decided I can marry Cassandra earlier than planned to cheer everyone up.
Friar Laurence	I doubt it will cheer up Cassandra.
Bjorn	Oh she’ll be as good as new in no time. See you tomorrow
	Exit Bjorn
Friar Laurence	I’m a marionette just doing as those who pull my strings ask.
	Enter Cassandra
Cassandra	You must help me Friar I can not marry that horrible man Bjorn.
Friar Laurence	While out in the summer night city I was given this potion. It will make every one think you are dead. I will send a message to Fernando who can come and get you when they lay you to rest.
Cassandra	Thank you Friar
	Exit Cassandra
Friar Laurence	I must go and find my Eagle
	Exit Friar Laurence
	Act 4, Scene 2 – Cassandra’s Room
	Cassandra is laying on her bed
	Enter Chiquita
Chiquita	Get up Cassandra, time to get married.
	Chiquita shakes Cassandra
Chiquita	I need to send out an SOS. I think my little tiger is dead!
	Chiquita runs of stage
	Act 5, Scene 1 – The Erikson Tomb
	Cassandra is laid out to rest
	Enter Fernando
Fernando	Oh my poor Cassandra, they say lovers live a little longer but this is not true, you have poisoned yourself and I will now do the same.
	Fernando chokes and falls to the floor as Cassandra wakes up for her final lines.
Cassandra	Fernando, you can not die as the piper plays.I took a sleeping potion the day before you came to rescue me in the lovelight.
	Cassandra holds Fernando’s dying body.
Fernando	I Let the music speak.
Cassandra	The King kong song? If it wasn’t for the nights maybe I could move on. Fernando you are slipping through my fingers maybe my kisses of fire can wake you.
	Cassandra kisses Fernando
Cassandra	Gimme Gimme Gimme a sign. Please live on and on and on for me and Bobby and Bobby’s brother
	Fernando flops to the ground
Cassandra	Does your mother know what fools we have been? The winner takes it all but on this merry-go-round we have nothing. I was gonna sing you my love song. My mamma said dance while the music still goes on. But fot me the music has stopped.
	Cassandra draws out her knife and stabs her self.
Cassandra	Bang-a-boomerang I no longer wish to dance. I have a dream
	Cassandra lays down dead
	Enter Erikson and Johanson
Johanson	My Son!
Erikson	My Daughter!
Johanson	Dum dum diddle, this is a muddle
Erikson	Our children dead together. I saw it in the mirror.
	Johanson bends down to pick something up
Johanson	Ring ring
Erikson	A ring each, they must have married in secret.
Johanson	Voulez Vous, we shall build a monument in their memory and if they could learn to love each other so could we
	Erikson and Johanson hug
Erikson	I also found this note from Fernando to Cassandra
Johanson	What does it say
Erikson	Forever, and Thank you for the music.

The Cast:

At least 4 actors are needed! If more split the roles of actors 3 and 4.
The Narrator could be one of the actors or a separate person.

Actor 1: Fernando
Actor 2: Cassandra, The Prince
Actor 3: Svenvolio, Lady Erikson, Erikson, Friar Laurence, Mercutio
Actor 4: Chiquita, Tybalt, Servant, Johanson, Bjorn

Characters in each scene:
Act1 Scene 1 – Svenvolio, Tybalt, Prince, Fernando
Act 1 Scene 2 – Servant, Svenvolio, Fernando
Act 1 Scene 3 – Lady Erikson, Chiquita, Cassandra
Act 1 Scene 4 – Erikson, Cassandra, Fernando, Tybalt

Act 2 Scene 1 – Fernando, Cassandra
Act 2 Scene 2 – Friar Laurence, Fernando
Act 2 Scene 3 – Svenvolio, Fernando, Chiquita
Act 2 Scene 4 – Friar Laurence, Fernando, Cassandra

Act 3 Scene 1 – Mercutio, Fernando, Tybalt, Prince
Act 3 Scene 2 – Chiquita, Cassandra
Act 3 Scene 3 – Fernando, Cassandra

Act 4 Scene 1 – Bjorn, Friar Laurence, Cassandra
Act 4 Scene 2 – Cassandra, Chiquita

Act 5 Scene 1 – Fernando, Cassandra, Erikson, Johanson

• A note on the image. The A.I. image creator did not like me using the word ‘skit’ I originally changed the word to ‘sketch’ which gave me a line drawing. After a few tries and either rejections (didn’t like ‘act’ either) or nothing near desired the text used for the picture was ‘romeo, juliet, abba’.