| Aggie |
I have been thinking again. |
| Bettie |
Oh, you didn’t get a migraine did you? |
| Aggie |
Oh no. I try not to think too hard, I don’t like those migraines. |
| Bettie |
Well I have made a cure for that. |
| Aggie |
Yes, but it always gives me the hiccups. |
| Bettie |
Well I have a cure for those too. |
| Aggie |
And that puts spots before my eyes. |
| Bettie |
Well there is an easy cure for spots before the eyes. |
| Aggie |
I know, but that gives me a migraine. |
| Bettie |
Oh, never mind. Maybe one day I will come up with a cure for something without any side effects. |
| Aggie |
At least the side effects aren’t as bad as those of your cough mixture. |
| Bettie |
That was only one batch. I think it was too much vinegar. |
| Aggie |
Are you sure it was vinegar? Poor Albert was bright orange for a month. |
| Bettie |
Okay, maybe it was something else. |
| Aggie |
Like what ? |
| Bettie |
Oh I don’t know. Any way, what were you thinking about? |
| Aggie |
Sandwiches. But don’t try and change the subject. I want to know what you put in that cough mixture. |
| Bettie |
Maybe it was the curry powder. You have just eaten, why are you thinking about sandwiches? |
| Aggie |
No, not eating them, selling them. And curry powder does not make you go orange. |
| Bettie |
A lot of it might. Why would you want to sell sandwiches? |
| Aggie |
Why not? Everyone says how good they are. Even a lot of curry powder wouldn’t turn you orange. |
| Bettie |
How do you know? It might. We could have a stall in the market selling them. |
| Aggie |
Yes, I think they would go down really well on market day. I put a pot of it in your stew last week, and you never turned orange. |
| Bettie |
I went red. We could have all sorts of fillings. |
| Aggie |
But only for a moment. |
| Bettie |
But what if I added more. We could have different types of rolls and bread. |
| Aggie |
Will you stop talking about the sandwiches and tell me about the cough mixture. |
| Bettie |
You started it. |
| Aggie |
No I never. I wanted to know why Albert went orange. |
| Bettie |
Yes you did. You said you were thinking of having a sandwich stall in the market. |
| Aggie |
You’re twisting my thoughts. Any way what do you mean if you added more than a pot of curry powder? |
| Bettie |
Well I added a little more than one pot. |
| Aggie |
How much more? |
| Bettie |
Well you know the barrel of curry powder you keep in the cellar? |
| Aggie |
Yes? |
| Bettie |
Well I took out a whole bucket full. |
| Aggie |
You took out a whole bucket full? No wonder poor Albert went orange. But surely he wouldn’t of stayed orange for so long. |
| Bettie |
I didn’t put the bucket full in. |
| Aggie |
You didn’t? So what did turn poor Albert orange? |
| Bettie |
Oh, I now think it was definitely the curry powder. |
| Aggie |
With so little? |
| Bettie |
No, with quite a lot actually. |
| Aggie |
But you said you didn’t put all of the bucket in. |
| Bettie |
I didn’t put any of the curry powder out of the bucket in. In fact I left the bucket in the cellar in case you wanted any. |
| Aggie |
But I could of just taken some out of the barrel. |
| Bettie |
Ah, well you see I used what was left in the barrel. |
| Aggie |
You used a whole barrel of curry powder in the cough mixture? |
| Bettie |
Not a whole barrel. I took out a bucket full first. I knew it would be a bit silly to use a whole barrel full. |
| Aggie |
I doubt one bucket full made that much difference. |
| Bettie |
Oh, I am sure it would of. Quite a bit of difference actually. |
| Aggie |
Really? How much difference. |
| Bettie |
Well poor Albert was nearly dead afterwards. |
| Aggie |
You nearly killed Albert? |
| Bettie |
Very much so, yes. I did cure his cough though, and I think he had the flu coming too. |
| Aggie |
Poor Albert. What did he say afterwards? |
| Bettie |
For a while nothing. Then he looked in the mirror. Then he said ‘Aaaaarrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhh!’ |
| Aggie |
I’m not surprised. Poor Albert. |
| Bettie |
Well he is much better now. He hasn’t mentioned having a cough since. |
| Aggie |
I’m not surprised; I wouldn’t tell you I had cough either if I knew you were going to nearly kill me just to cure it. |
| Bettie |
Oh well! |
| Aggie |
I’d just go to the chemist next time. |
| Bettie |
Well that is obvious now; I wouldn’t go through all that again. |
| Aggie |
Well I don’t believe it, you going to the chemist instead of using one of your own remedies. |
| Bettie |
Well of course I would go to the chemist. I gave him my recipe for the mixture, he sells it to every one now. |
| Aggie |
So the tans everyone seemed to get earlier this year wasn’t because they had all just come back from a long holiday in the sun. |
| Bettie |
Errr, no I don’t think so. |
| Aggie |
That also explains why the price of curry powder has gone up. |
| Bettie |
Probably. |
| Aggie |
Has it got anything to do with circles in the local fields? |
| Bettie |
Oh no, that has nothing to do with me. |
Kevin & Kell
Terry Pratchett
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