Invisible Turtles (Turtylus Non-seeus) Identification None. They are invisible. Habits Walking across ceilings and upsetting the normal balance of things! Voice None. They communicate with each other by telepathy. Habitat Any ceiling. Food Non-stick coatings, blue-tack, socks and the water from the fish tank. Breeding Probably a complicated issue that has never been witnessed. This ...
Curious CreaturesPickled Squirrels (Squirelus Picklus) Identification The Pickled Squirrel is a little larger than its more normal red and grey cousins. A light brown colouring and usually has a can of cider in its paws. Habits Drinking cider, throwing empty cans and acorns at passer-by’s and being a general nuisance. Voice A very high pitched squeaky ...
Curious CreaturesFlying Pigs (Baconus Upus) IdentificationVery similar to the normal pig except for the foldable wings on either side of its body. Habits Flying around and rolling in mud. Voice Sounds very ‘oinking’ like but very articulate. Habitat Large forests where they can search for truffles or acorns. Food Truffles, acorns and a variety of other ...
Curious CreaturesCrop Circle Locusts (Radi Crop Locii) Identification Unidentifiable from the ordinary locust. Habits Eating fields of corn and the like in mathematical circular patterns. Voice The Crop Circle Locust has no voice but can make a harsh humming sound with its back legs. Habitat Fields of corns or grasses. Food Wheat, barley, maize, oats and ...
Curious CreaturesGruesome Gorillas (Bigmonkeyus Groosomus) Identification Big, hairy and approximately two metres tall. The Gruesome Gorilla has a very gruesome look and very large fists. Dark, hairy body and often wearing a tie, (Males and Females). Habits The Gruesome Gorilla lives to work, and works to live. Voice Very deep and commanding. Habitat Any well furnished ...
Curious CreaturesAcrobatic Gerbils (Gerblus Acrobaticus) Identification The Acrobatic Gerbil looks very similar in size, colouring and appearance to a normal gerbil. At first glance they look very ordinary but under their front legs are small flaps that give them their aerobatic and acrobatic capabilities. Habits Leaping about in the air with a great show of acrobatics ...
Curious CreaturesTalking Chickens (Chickenus Chattyboxus) Identification White feathers, yellow bird like feet and approximately 11/2 metres tall. Habits Pecking the ground unconvincingly and eating pizza. Voice The talking chicken had a full vocal range and has no problem communicating with humans and other fully vocal species. The chickens tend to be very literate and most of ...
Curious CreaturesEnergy Caterpillars (Catapi Energus) Identification Small cute and wriggly. Often seen holding a little flag in its tail. Habits Eating mushrooms and thinking about relativity. Voice Has no voice. Communicates by waving little coloured flags with its tail, similar to semaphore. Habitat The Energy Caterpillar can be found near, in or on any mushroom or ...
Curious CreaturesLatent Buzzard (Buteo Anticipo) Identification The Latent Buzzard is neither a buzzard nor not a buzzard, but is just about to be. It nearly has a large wing span, short neck and dark grey feathers. Habits Waiting for something important to happen. Flying off somewhere else once it has started. Voice If it could be ...
Curious CreaturesBaby Turtles (Babi Turtyus Invisiblus) Identification None. They are invisible (and very small). Habits Causing havoc to electronic equipment and hiding in computer keyboards. Voice None. Habitat The baby turtles live in electronic equipment, light switches and fuse boxes.. Food The baby turtles do not need food until they mature. Breeding They are babies so ...
Curious CreaturesA song for a fire on a cold night ? Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do...
Sung by a Beaver… Can I play with matches? Give me the sense to wonder To wonder if I’m...
I’m the camp fire starter, flaming instigator. I’m the fire addicted and backwood proficient. I’m a firestarter, district firestarter,...
Deep down in Slip End close to the sports ground An accident prone leader can often be found Here...
The insects are not being nice to me this year. Last week one bite made my hand swell up...
Kevin & Kell
Terry Pratchett