The names haven’t been changed in this skit, but fit a couple I know. So this skit is now dedicated to James and Jenny..

James I just won a holiday in Spain.
Jenny Wha Hoo! Nice one dear when do we go?
James Well it is only for two.
Jenny That’s okay my mother can look after the kids. When is it?
James We have to take our own spending money.
Jenny Well we were saving up for a break, we can use that money.
James Errm, yes dear. I don’t know where our passports are though.
Jenny In the top drawer of the desk in the study, where they always are.
James The holiday is next month.
Jenny That’s a bit awkward mum is going on a cruise next month.
James Then we can’t go.
Jenny We could always ask your mother.
James Errrm, yes dear.
Jenny So how did you win this holiday then?
James Oh it was a scratch card thingy. I thought if I buy a scratch card and win we would not have to spend all the money we have in the bank on one.
Jenny Very risky dear, you could of spent loads and then we would have no money to take with us.
James Errrm, yes!
Jenny You look a bit worried.
James Errrm, yes!
Jenny Did you use some of the savings?
James Errrm, yes!
Jenny Not a lot I’m sure?
James Well lit was five pounds a ticket.
Jenny How much?
James Fifty Pounds.
Jenny Hmmm, well that still leaves us enough to have a good holiday.
James Errrm, no. That is how much we have left.
Jenny YOU SPENT OVER FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS ON SCRATCH CARDS????
James Errrm, yes!
Jenny THAT’S IT I’M GOING TO MY MOTHERS!!!
James Errrm, one other thing.
Jenny WHAT?
James Well I was so excited I crashed the car.
Jenny YOU DID WHAT?
James I crashed the car, I was swerving your mother.
Jenny WHAT ?
James Well she was crossing the road and I never noticed her. I think she is all right.
Jenny YOU NEVER STOPPED?
James Well I was so excited I thought I would come home and tell you the good news.
Jenny Good! GOOD! GOOD! YOU NEARLY KNOCK OVER MY MOTHER AND EXPECT ME TO BE HAPPY??
James Well we are going to Spain next month.
Jenny Oh no we are not!
James But I won tickets.
Jenny Thank you. It looks like I am going to Spain.
James But what about me?
Jenny You can look after the kids.
James But there are two tickets.
Jenny I am sure mother will enjoy the break.
James But what about her cruise.
Jenny She can enjoy that when she gets back.
James Oh!