Identification

The Pickled Squirrel is a little larger than its more normal red and grey cousins. A light brown colouring and usually has a can of cider in its paws.

Habits

Drinking cider, throwing empty cans and acorns at passer-by’s and being a general nuisance.

Voice

A very high pitched squeaky voice. Its speech is usually very slurred and contains many ‘hics’.

Habitat

Inside a tree that is not too far from the off-licence. Many generations will live in the same abode being too lazy to move out and find their own, unless they know where there is a better off-licence.

Acorns and cider.

Breeding

Most Pickled Squirrels will not remember ever breeding but there are many fatherless young pickled squirrels.

Movements and Migrations

The Pickled Squirrel will only move home if the local off-licence closes down or it knows where a better / cheaper one has opened up.

Notes

The Pickled Squirrel is the most useless curious creature around. The only use for its existence is to keep many off-licences in business.