Pickled Squirrels

(Squirelus Picklus)

The Pickled Squirrel is a little larger than its more normal red and grey cousins. A light brown colouring and usually has a can of cider in its paws.

Habits:
Drinking cider, throwing empty cans and acorns at passer-by’s and being a general nuisance.

Voice:
A very high pitched squeaky voice. Its speech is usually very slurred and contains many ‘hics’.

Habitat:
Inside a tree that is not too far from the off-licence. Many generations will live in the same abode being too lazy to move out and find their own, unless they know where there is a better off-licence.

Food:
Acorns and cider.

Breeding:
Most Pickled Squirrels will not remember ever breeding but there are many fatherless young pickled squirrels.

Movement and Migration:
The Pickled Squirrel will only move home if the local off-licence closes down or it knows where a better / cheaper one has opened up.

Notes:
The Pickled Squirrel is the most useless curious creature around. The only use for its existence is to keep many off-licences in business.