| Aggie |
I’m really looking forward to lunch after that walk. What have we got to day? |
| Bettie |
We have cabbage sandwiches. |
| Aggie |
My favourite, I can’t wait. Start preparing them then. |
| Bettie |
All right, all right. I don’t know how you can enjoy something that may not even exist. |
| Aggie |
Eh? |
| Bettie |
Well, I’ve been thinking. |
| Aggie |
That is always a dangerous thing to do for you. |
| Bettie |
Yes, well never mind that. As I was saying, I’ve been thinking. |
| Aggie |
Yes, you said that. Thinking about what? |
| Bettie |
Well I’ve sort of been thinking about cabbages. |
| Aggie |
So have I. I was thinking how nice it would be munching though them for lunch. |
| Bettie |
Yes, well I did think about that for a little while, but I was thinking about something else too. |
| Aggie |
Oh! That is a very bad idea, you with two thoughts in your head. |
| Bettie |
It happens from time to time. Anyway about this second thought. |
| Aggie |
Yes please do tell. If it has anything to do with my lunch not existing I would really like to know. You did remember to get a cabbage out of the garden, didn’t you? |
| Bettie |
Yes, the cabbage is sitting in the sink at the moment to wash off all the slugs. |
| Aggie |
But you get rid of the caterpillars when you do that as well. |
| Bettie |
Well I haven’t got time to sit around picking all the slugs off just for you. Washing them is much, much quicker. |
| Aggie |
Hmmmph! So what was your second thought? |
| Bettie |
Was! IS! It’s still there. |
| ggie |
Cooo, you keeping a thought for more than an hour. Please do tell. |
| Bettie |
I was thinking what a guy once said. |
| Aggie |
I wouldn’t worry. I still think you are a nice person. |
| Bettie |
No, not that guy; a famous guy. |
| Aggie |
Guy Fawkes? |
| Bettie |
No, No, NO! This guy was a thinking guy. Guy Fawkes wasn’t much of a thinker. |
| Aggie |
No that’s true. He would have come up with a much better plan if he thought about it. |
| Bettie |
Yes, maybe he should have asked the guy I was thinking about. |
| Aggie |
That’s a thought! So what was this guy thinking then? |
| Bettie |
Well he said something like, ” I think, therefore I am. “ |
| Aggie |
What a strange thing to say. |
| Bettie |
Well those thinkers are always strange people. |
| Aggie |
Yes that they are. But what has it got to do with my lunch? |
| Bettie |
I was getting to that. |
| Aggie |
I wish you’d start preparing it. |
| Bettie |
Yes in a moment. If it really exists that is. |
| Aggie |
Well, I have been eating cabbage sandwiches for long enough to know they do really exist. |
| Bettie |
Okay. Well let us for the moment just think what that guy said. |
| Aggie |
Descartes. |
| Bettie |
Eh? |
| Aggie |
He’s the one who said, ” I think, therefore I am. “ |
| Bettie |
Cooo, well there you go. Anyway when he said that, I was thinking. And I was thinking about the opposite of that. |
| Aggie |
Erm, I don’t think, therefore I ain’t? |
| Bettie |
Well I would have said it a little nicer, ” I do not think, therefore I am not. “ |
| Aggie |
You always have to be picky. |
| Bettie |
And you always need to simplify things. |
| Aggie |
Yes, especially when I am waiting for my lunch. |
| Bettie |
Okay, I am getting near the point. |
| Aggie |
Good. I am getting very hungry. |
| Bettie |
Well if you do not think, you do not exist. Okay? |
| Aggie |
Yep, okay. I’ll agree with that. |
| Bettie |
Well I don’t think cabbages think. |
| Aggie |
Well if you don’t think that, I don’t care. |
| Bettie |
Err … no … what I meant is. I think, cabbages don’t think. |
| Aggie |
Oh dear. So what am I going to have for lunch? |
| Bettie |
Well you could still have cabbage. You have been eating them though they don’t exist for years. A few more non-existent cabbage sandwiches won’t hurt you. |
| Aggie |
Just a minute though. |
| Bettie |
I was just going to make your lunch. |
| Aggie |
That can wait. I just had a thought. |
| Bettie |
Cooo, both of us with a thought in the same day. |
| Aggie |
We know plants feel, and vary their activities depending on what the sun and rain are doing. |
| Bettie |
Err … yes we do? |
| Aggie |
And I saw something on telly the other day where they were playing different music to these daffodils and they reacted differently to them. |
| Bettie |
So? |
| Aggie |
Well they must have some sort of thought to think about the music, the sun and the rain. |
| Bettie |
Yes, I suppose you could say that. |
| Aggie |
Good. So get on with my sandwich. Now that we know cabbages do exist. |
| Bettie |
I am really glad about that. I would have felt really silly making a sandwich of something that doesn’t exist. |
| Aggie |
Yes, been even sillier eating it. |
| Bettie |
Just one last thought then. What about rocks? |
Kevin & Kell
Terry Pratchett
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